counting the sunrises

artist unknown

We may think meditation will improve us, but it’s really about accepting ourselves as we are right now.

Pema Chödrön

every life is precious 

indeed 

every item under heaven 

and across the universe is precious

every rock 

every clod of dirt

is a piece of the earth that holds us 

as being a part of its home 

the plants large and small 

trees and flowers

and weeds and herbs 

each has a value

and every worm helps feed the soil

that in turn feeds us 

the salmon 

the old barn owl 

those are obvious 

but also precious are the mosquito 

the roach

even the tsetse fly serves some purpose

and so is blessed 

and so blesses us all

so it is that here before you i give thanks

and praise to the river otter and the raccoon

to the mighty prairie hen 

to the jack pine

the arugula and kale 

the valley oak.

let all step forward and be named 

every life is precious 

indeed 

every item under heaven 

and across the universe  is precious even man

james lee jobe

No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.
 
Alan Watts

still dark 

the sun hasn’t risen yet  

another day

i take the washcloth and soap it up

and i wash away the number written on my wrist

1424 

written with the ink of a ballpoint pen

“1424 what”

 a friend had asked yesterday

“1424 sunrises without my son in the world

1424 sunrises since he died at age 26”

my friend who had no way of knowing

that i do this thing 

looked away

trying to think of something to say

"maybe you should try to... move on”

he suggested in a whisper 

touching my shoulder

“everyone gets to grieve in the way

that is best for them” i say

“so i keep the count of how many days

i have carried the weight 

it helps me to be present in this day 

and not be stuck in that day”

i have that conversation every few days

whenever someone sees the number on me

it’s alright 

i don’t mind

and i am not in the least embarrassed

it is what it is

5:29 am 

i haven't slept much tonight

that’s alright 

there is always tomorrow

and until then i will keep the count

for one more day

one more sunrise

i take the pen and write 1425

on the inside of my wrist

then i write it again

tracing it over so that the ink is bold

do you want to see what grief looks like

i’ll show you 

1425

i’ll show it to you anytime

james lee jobe

But deluded people don't realize that their own mind is the Buddha. They keep searching outside.

Bodhidharma

trouble will come 

it’s unavoidable my friend 

the storm is a blessing 

a little opening in the walls of a life 

when the storms rage 

we get to take chances 

and flex our most secret muscles 

so pay attention 

listen for raindrops 

listen for wind  and smile a little

james lee jobe

Philip Glass - Opening

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jlj