hampered by lust, ruin, and sleep

Patapsco River, Maryland 
(A few minutes from where I was born.)

It’s an imaginary chair for imaginary visitors 

It sits in the middle of the floor facing my own chair 

And I often sit there thinking of the conversations I’ll never have 

And the friends I’ll never know 

Thank you emptiness 

I can always count on you 

----

I think of my legs as old farm horses 

Worn out by time and work 

And now 

The wagon and the plow 

Are pulled by fresher beasts 

And my legs get to graze all day 

In the deeps of the green pasture 

And sleep every night in the barn 

Time is a vast farm 

Worked and re-worked 

And then worked yet again 

----

The ancient lust has been silenced now 

It is ruin and sleep that awaits us 

There is rust on this darkness 

Rust on the heavy chambers of age 

And rust on the weight of that rift 

That hides between the earth and the sky 

We are tiny creatures on a rock in the milky way 

Hampered by lust, ruin, and sleep 

Slowed by rust and death 

Our night clothes might as well be shrouds 

And yet we still love 

There is some hope in that 

Ring the small bell once, just once 

And then join me beneath the blankets of this grave 

Come into my rotting arms, my love

----

I have been sick and injured lately, and I also have a condition that is getting worse. Sick, that was the flu, not COVID, but bad enough. My temp topped 102. The injury, I sprained a middle toe. Badly. It isn't broken, but JeezLouise that puppy hurts. The condition, osteoarthritis, has long hurt my left knee, and now is moving into my right knee as well. I also have lymphodema, but that is under control at the moment. Kids, I have felt better. 

The poet and artist D.R. Wagner died recently, which breaks my heart. D.R. was a kind soul, and I admired both his work and his nature. He constantly encouraged us all to be kind. He was in poor health for some time, and in pain as well. I do have most of his books, and those poems will be my way of keeping his unique voice in my life. 

Be kind. 

JAMES LEE JOBE

To receive everything, one must open one's hands and give.

Taisen Deshimaru

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course, that's Moses, not Jesus. I haven't heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. "Blessed are the merciful" in a courtroom? "Blessed are the peacemakers" in the Pentagon? Give me a break!

Kurt Vonnegut

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Many thanks, James 

what happens next

Anselm Kiefer

Things fall apart. Indeed, 

Hard things happen quite randomly. 

What was once an ocean becomes a desert, 

Flat and true. 

Earthquakes move the plates of the earth 

To the dismay of buildings and bridges. 

The sky can strike you with lightning, wind, or hail. 

Tread your path with care, friend, 

And watch out for the good things that happen, too. 

The flutter of a hummingbird. 

The friendly nuzzle of a pup. 

James Lee Jobe

Man thrives where angels would die of ecstasy and where pigs would die of disgust. 

Kenneth Rexroth

Delaney & Bonnie & Friends - Never Ending Song Of Love 

In the distance, a long howl, the call of a wolf, 

like in some old black and white western movie. 

Or maybe it was the yapping poodle next door, 

that part doesn't matter, it's the howl itself 

that counts. 

At various times in this long, tangled web 

of existence we need a naked moon 

and a long, mournful howl. 

Go ahead. Just let go. 

Drop your clothes in the street 

and run for it. 

Howl until your throat is raw. 

None of us knows what happens next. 

James Lee Jobe 

If you expect nothing from anybody, you're never disappointed. 

Sylvia Plath

Damien Hirst

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Thanks!

James

I am from Earth

We have fallen into the place where everything is music.* 

Of course, the light is music 

You already know that 

The sun, the moon, and the stars 

That's easy 

The rivers and seas 

The mountains and valleys 

Lovely music, that 

But friend, I tell you 

That the darkness is music as well 

The shadow side of being alive 

The drunken, angry father is music 

Even as he berates the shrunken wife 

And ruins the children 

The lies of the politicians are music 

The sound of shots being fired in the night 

And you cannot tell how far away 

Or how close 

The earthquake, the killer tornado 

The car crash, the unsuccessful operation 

It's all a balance, all of it 

And one song plays after another 

Like a concert with no program to follow 

So pay attention to the music 

It could verily easily be a short concert 

One never knows 

James Lee Jobe

*The title is a line from Rumi, used here as a prompt.

Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything — anger, anxiety, or possessions — we cannot be free.

Thich Nhat Hanh

People are going back and forth across the door-sill where the two worlds touch.* 

Some people hurry with their heads down, weary 

Their minds occupied, worried with mundane nonsense 

Their hearts are closed like a tavern on election day 

Others never cross the door-sill at all 

Whichever world they are in is their jail cell 

They seldom even glance through the bars on the window 

I say, cross as often as you please, my friend 

This world, that world, pause on either side as you choose 

Have a song, have a dance, love some one 

Let the other world wait while you live it up here 

And by the way, where I said there are two worlds 

Actually, there might be far more worlds than that 

James Lee Jobe

*The title is a line from Rumi, used here as a prompt.

Leaving the City

-by Tu Fu

It's frost-bitter cold, and late, and falling

frost traces my gaze all bottomless skies.

Smoke trails out over distant salt mines.

Snow-covered peaks slant shadows east.

Armies haunt my homeland still, and war

drums throb in this far-off place. A guest

overnight here in this river city, I return 

again to shrieking crows, my old friends.

Only the holder the flag fits into and the wind* 

Countries are a ridiculous thing. 

One country is good, but another one is bad 

Other countries are fine with one problem 

But not so fine with others 

I say phooey 

One world, about two hundred countries 

Should I pray to a flag, a shiny cloth 

Which one, where I was born 

I didn't have any say in where I was born 

A better way is for us all to live 

As if this world is one place, because it is 

Where are you from, friend 

Earth I am from Earth 

Well now, that is something worthy

of my pledge of allegiance  

James Lee Jobe

*The title is a line from Rumi, used here as a prompt.

I’ve woven a parachute out of everything broken.

William Stafford

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James 

Oxycontin & Jesus

Martin Osner 

The price to be paid

Oh the nighttime beating of the soul's wings.
Georg Trakl

Down here it's very deep and thick

And covered with rock and stone

The digging takes years, perhaps a lifetime

And parts of a person are often lost along the way

It's dangerous this far below

But somewhere down here is a measure of truth

Just a bit of real honesty

And even if it takes a wound or two to reach that truth

That's not too high of a price to pay

Stone to the left and stone to the right

Darkness and rock

And only the strength of one human soul to rely upon

----

The slow and empty death of patriotism 

A frayed flag smoking with blood
Georg Trakl

The wounded have wrapped the red, white, and blue flag

Around their stumps and gone to bed

They have been given Oxycontin and Jesus

"Yes, you killed thousands, but God wishes it so

because he loves America most of all"

They are told this when their night terrors come

They are told this when the ghosts of their victims

Silently line up to caress the aching stumps

They are told this when their children cry

And they must struggle just to cross the room

And comfort them

Oxycontin and Jesus and America

Arm in arm in arm

At the head of the parade

The frayed flags waving in the cool sunlight

Smoking with human blood

----

The darkness of music

We have fallen into the place where everything is music.

Rumi  

Of course the light is music 

You already know that 

The sun, the moon, and the stars 

That's easy 

The rivers and seas 

The mountains and valleys 

Lovely music, that 

But friend I tell you 

That the darkness is music as well 

The shadow side of being alive 

The drunken angry father is music 

Even as he berates the shrunken wife 

And ruins the children 

The lies of the politicians are music 

The sound of shots being fired in the night 

And you cannot tell how far away 

Or how close 

The earthquake, the killer tornado 

The car crash, the unsuccessful operation 

It's all a balance, all of it 

And one song plays after another 

Like a concert with no program to follow 

So pay attention to the music 

It could verily easily be a short concert 

One never knows 

James Lee Jobe 

Wynton Marsalis - Jungle Blues

The only way to support a revolution is to make your own.

Abbie Hoffman 

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Thanks, James 

rubies and the wetness of love

Pentre Ifan burial chamber, Pembrokeshire, Wales, UK

Now it is here, a time of balance

My life and my spirit

What I believe and what I do

How I live as a man

There is a balance now

That was missing for so long

I am warmed by the sun

And the sun is loved by me

Growing old isn’t bad at all

James Lee Jobe

You should spare the last word. 

When blinded by anger, we make choices that we regret later. 

Leave the room before the bridge is burned.

Haemin Sunim

Dreams and trees, milk and honey, the scythe slicing through silk, through wheat, and through all unreasonable expectations. Silver and gold, filtered with rubies and the wetness of love, filtered with diamonds, and with the smells and flavors of sex. Togetherness. These are the ways that the humans find themselves, the ways that they find each other, for night is here, night and silence, and now they might hold one another until day returns, if only they can find the courage.  

James Lee Jobe 

Willie Nelson - Stay All Night

When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat?

Chuck Palahniuk

The taste of iron and the fear of death. 

Vision of the night: toads plunge from silver waters. 

-Georg Trakl

Can you hear croaking amid the whispers of midnight?

It's the splashing against the wings of finer things,

those beings and creatures that some people deny.

This noise is axe-heavy with the taste of iron and the fear of death.

This sound haunted the puritans and the jacobites,

and felt rough against the skin but soft against the mind.

Who will now wade in the silver waters?

Who will take the plunge and croak with the toads?

You and I, that's who.

Begin slowly and then pick up the pace along the muddy riverbank.

The fear of death is nothing more than the fear of life.

The taste of iron, the croaking, the whispers,

and the touch of wings; these things await.

I'm ready when you are.

James Lee Jobe

Pico Verde Jobe

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James 

the heaviness of crows

In this spell we are stars from different galaxies.

When the still day comes to an end,
both good and evil have been prepared.
-Georg Trakl

The fire in the stove is built from the sound of dogs howling
This fire has howling to burn instead of wood
And this fire is the edge of night, its sharpest corner
Its finest and longest dream

This is the corner where the avenues of love and indifference meet
Muddy Waters is playing a long blues riff on guitar
And I am kissing your lips, one lip at a time
Then you smile and the spell is cast in shadow and thought

In this spell we are stars from different galaxies
That stand naked together
Toe to toe, face to face, shining
We are as bright as the pleasure of living

In this spell the earthquakes have names like old blues men
From another generation, from earlier decades
With names like Hambone and Sonny
I am lost, and I say that out loud for you to hear

There is a moth drawn to the light of the stove
The way that life is drawn to death
The way that death is drawn to life
That moth's time is almost up

And you and I, you put your soft and gentle hands
To the sides of my face and pull me down to you
And then you very gently bite my lower lip
Fire and time and spells mean nothing to us anymore

James Lee Jobe

You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say.

Martin Luther (1483-1546)

SISTER ROSETTA THARPE - Didn't It Rain?

These fields are dew-wet and heavy with crows and gloom, and it is still a long walk to get to the house of the poet. Just past dawn and hungry, a biscuit and black coffee was all, two hours ago in the darkness, the night before spent in prayer and shivers, under the stare of the grandfather clock. One cold tick at a time. What is this weight of grief? What is this ghastly tonic that fails to heal? There is no promise waiting at the house of the poet. Is there even anyone there to answer the door? And now the shoes and the pant-legs are dew-wet. The heaviness of crows is a weight upon the soul, and the first light is not burning away the fog. From the far end of the pasture, hidden in mist, comes the sound of hoof-beats. 

James Lee Jobe 

An English philosopher said that whatever is cosmic is also comic. Do the best you can and don't take it so seriously. 

Bernie Glassman

May we simply refuse to compete
And begin to share.

James Lee Jobe 

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James

Respect the dead and pray for peace.

        Your grandparents went first. Then your father. Maybe one grandparent outlived your father just a little, and so felt that extra bit of suffering. And your mom. Your favorite uncle, the one you could talk to. Then before you knew it, that entire generation was gone. All of their friends. The older neighbors. Dead. Every last one of them. Death, spreading like black mold in an old mildewed house. And so you became the older generation. Who is that in the mirror? Is that really you? You move slower, you think slower. It doesn't matter anymore which way you walk, the mold is spreading there already. And then one day that son of a bitch comes for you, too. What? You were expecting a fairy tale? Friend, I am not always here with good news.   

______

        That I might awaken to the blessing of knowing my own true nature, and that I might be able to use this knowledge to help others and to help the planet. 

        That I might every day find the compassion inside myself to bring some extra kindness into the world.

        That I might always keep my heart full of compassion, so full that there is no room for anything else. 

        Life happens only in the present moment.

______

        Respect the dead, even when your body is full of crows, and coffins line the bitter streets like people waiting for a parade to pass by. Respect the dead, even when your body is full of snow and the sidewalk inside you is impassable. Tonight the crows are cawing and the snow is thick. Hold your hand out in the air, watch the snowflakes land and melt on your warm skin. Respect the dead and pray for peace. Just drop to your knees and speak your truth. When the sun returns again, you and the crows will be far away, but the snow and the dead will remain.   

James Lee Jobe 

NEIL FINN - Distant Sun

No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen. 

Alan Watts

______

Fix all your attention on your own path, and do not imitate others. Your life is unique, and your karma is yours alone. 

Taisen Deshimaru

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James 

the sky watches over everything

Leave words behind
Leave James behind
Embrace the breath
Embrace the no-thingness.
Zazen, the zen sitting
Breathing with the entire body
And also without the body at all
How marvelous is the emptiness 

The vast nothing 

James Lee Jobe

LIGHTNIN' HOPKINS

It's A Sin To Be Rich, It's A Low-Down Shame To Be Poor

If you wonder what Buddhism has to offer you, the answer is: nothing.

Trinlay Tulku Rinpoche

The trees are here, in part, to watch over things, to watch over us. In turn, the mountains watch over the trees, and the sky watches over everything. Is it true? I don’t really know, of course, but I can tell you this; it is a thought that comforts me.

James Lee Jobe

 Judith Secco, "Artichokes With Flower"

For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream. 

Vincent van Gogh

Two days of rain, then a break - two days of clear skies, cool air. No moon yet as I venture out and ride the bus downtown to hear William O’Daly read his fine poems and translations. I stop for a coffee and scribble in my notebook for an hour. It is a pleasant life to be a poet in this Northern California valley.

James Lee Jobe

Feelings are often born from the matrix of conditions beyond your control. Let them just pass through, like a cloud in the sky.

Haemin Sunim

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